From Wasilla to the White House

Two years removed from being mayor of Wasilla, Alaska (pop. 5,470), Sarah Palin could sit a heartbeat away from running the United States of America. So now everyone who attacked Barack Obama for his thin resume needs to be silent. Never mention it again.

But some of these same people are actually claiming that Palin, who has been governor of Alaska for the past year and a half, has more experience than Obama. (She was a city councilwoman before she was mayor, you see.) I don't know why I find this so surprising. After all, this noise is coming from the same camp that thinks the past eight years haven't been so bad.

So here's the Hail Mary pass, Palin. It's tossed up there for you bitter Hillary Clinton supporters to grab, those of you who say you refuse to support Obama. I wish I had more confidence that this angry mob couldn't possibly be so blind that they would vote for a woman whose reproductive organs are all she has in common with Clinton. But McCain clearly thinks they can be swayed.

It was going to be a close race for the presidency, and I think it still might be. Palin could help win Alaska, and it probably will sway a few disgruntled Hillary supporters. But it should move rational moderates away from McCain. Should.

I have a lot of admiration for McCain, and there was a time when I even considered voting for him. He is an honorable man. But should anything happen to him, we would be saddled with someone two years removed from being mayor of Wasilla, Alaska (pop. 5,470). If this is what it takes to be vice president, then this country is in more trouble than I ever imagined.

Jackson Pollock Widget

Drink a bottle or three of whiskey and let the artist free by clicking below and dragging the mouse around. It changes color every time you click.

Philippines Seeks MILF Disarmament

Updating a previous story, more MILF news.

Personally, I really hope the MILF's do put their arms down. Don't fight it, baby.

Riss is Back!

Check her out at Tequila Shots for the Soul.

MILF Rebels Stall Philippine Peace Pact

Nice to see the MILF faction taking matters into their own hands. Check out the guy's name in the caption.

Planet B-Boy

The hottest ish around. Still.



(I wish they'd release the soundtrack already.)

I Love New York, v. 1.1

A city with a sense of humor. Enjoy the slideshow.

It's Hard to Keep Caring About Fantasy Baseball

But I'm trying. For real. I want to care. I definitely need to have more ridiculous e-mail conversations debating the value of Mark DeRosa (who is a goddam fine ballplayer!!!).

But I just can't keep it going. After I won the league last year, and got that pewter trophy in the mail. Very unexpected. The trophy, I mean, but the feeling I had was unexpected, too. I felt like a loser. Like I now had to put this thing on the wall or display it somehow, so that all my friends could see how fucking awesome I am at fantasy baseball, a testameent to how little I do at work and how little I care about my wife and kids. (I don't even have a wife and fucking kids!!!) Like there was some other career I could have had telling everybody all the right moves on the diamond.

Fuck Joe Torre!!!

Actually, I really like the guy and hated to see him go. But nobody listens to me, even with my goddam trophy. (We won 108 fucking fantasy games!!!)

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((Yes, three goddam exclamation points.) I love parenthesis.)

Good Job Michael Phelps, But Usain Bolt is the Man

And he has a waaaaaay cooler name. Sorry. It's true.

And, yeah, he's probably on steroids, but if you're not on drugs, then you're a fucking cyborg, so whatever. I give up. Cheat away.

Electric Fly Swatter

You don't think you want this. But you do. Even if you don't have flies or mosquitos, buy one of these and go find some.

It will bring more joy to your life than it should, and maybe more joy than you deserve. You can kill pests with a nasty backhand slice, or give them the full force of your serve. And when you catch a juicy fly on the sweet spot, it pops like a firecracker, and sometimes sizzles a little.

Only $12. I bought two.

50 Children Died -- Think About This

It's easy to dismiss the numbers from a war. The casualties. Even the dead children. In this country, we like to draw some imaginary distinction between our "intentions" and the "results" of the endless war we willfully propagate.

So maybe it's easy for you to see this headline, and gloss over it:

Afghan President Assails U.S.-Led Airstrike

Maybe it would matter to you if "terrorists" had killed 50 children. But if we did it, by mistake, maybe you can go back to your life, your TV shows, your mortgage, your prescription medication, the yellow ribbon you put on your gas-guzzling SUV to support our troops, who are protecting our oil interests in the name of democracy so you can pay four fucking dollars a gallon.

(Note that there are no photos of this atrocity.)